It’s hard to imagine when you first start dating that there will come a time when you actively seek conversation starters for married couples. When you start wondering when the last time you actually talked to each other was, really sat down and had a good conversation…
We all know how it goes…
What was once an exciting and thriving relationship where conversation flowed freely, becomes a passing in the hall ‘did you get the milk?’ essential chat only relationship… and you know what? That’s totally normal. We get it, we really do.
Sometimes the daily to do’s are just too much and the last thing you can even begin to manage is trying to think of fun things to talk to your spouse about.
The truth is, whether you’ve been married a week, a year, a decade, or a lifetime, there’s always more to learn about each other. Marriage is ever evolving, it is always changing, as are we with it.
We all know that communication is key in a successful marriage, but here’s the secret…
Communication doesn’t have to be BORING!!
In fact, we insist, it needs to be fun!
If your idea of communication is always sitting down and having deep and meaningful conversations, then you might find yourself a little disapointed when life really takes hold and you just don’t have the time to get deep on a regular basis.
However, if you allow yourself to enjoy the little chats, ask smaller, simpler questions on a daily basis, then your foundation of communication is going to be stronger and when the time comes, you’ll flow into deeper conversations more easily.
What Do Married Couples Talk About?
This is where we have you covered!
We’ve compiled for you a list of 120 conversation starters that a specifically targeted to married couples (because it’s just different). These are designed to help you kick off conversations, have fun, and break through the communication troubles you may have been having.
To make things a little easier again, we have broken this down into different categories/sections for you because scrolling through this many questions can be overwhelming and that’s the last thing we want to do!
How To Use This List
I cannot stress this enough – don’t overcomplicate things. You don’t have to answer all the questions. You can modify them if you want. They might simply be inspiration for you. If you ask a question and you’re not really getting into a flow of conversation, move on to a different one.
You might find taking turns in asking questions can be fun, this way you both get to contribute to the questions, not just the answers. Maybe you save this page and each night after the kids are in bed (you know… that magical time…) you ask each other a question from the list.
The point is, there are no rules. It’s just a fun way to have a chat with your spouse.
So, here they are:
General Conversation Starters:
- Tell me something interesting about your day.
- What have you seen lately that made you think of me?
- If you could be anywhere in the world right now, where would you be?
- Do you like your job at the moment? Tell me more.
- Would you ever want to move from where we are living?
- What is the funnies thing you’ve seen lately?
- What have you seen lately that really frustrates you?
- If money wasn’t an issue – what would you want to be doing right now?
- Where would you like to go for our next holiday?
- What adventure would you like to have next?
- What’s one thing about your parent’s relationship that you admire?
- How are you feeling about our financial situation at the moment?
- Do you want to have (more) kids?
- What book are you reading at the moment? What is it about?
- What movie do you want to go and see?
- Who is your favourite movie character and why?
- What music did you listen to in your teens? Do you still like that music now?
- What is you favourite food right now?
- Of all the places you have been, where is your favourite?
- What’s something about me that makes you smile?
- What’s the funniest think you’ve heard our kids say lately?
- If you could have any superpower, what would it be?
- If you could have dinner with 3 people, dead of alive, who would they be?
- What would your dream date include?
- If you were a flavour of ice cream, what would you be?
- If you could only eat one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be?
- What was the best day of your life? Tell me all about it.
- If your life was made into a movie, who would play you and the other leading roles?
- If you were to write a book, what would it be about?
- What is your dream job?
- What dreams have you had lately?
- Do you think our dreams mean anything? If so, what?
- If I could do one thing every single day to make your life easier/happier, what would it be?
- If you could choose between a cook or a cleaner, which would you hire?
- If you could travel in time, would you go back or forward? And to when?
- What’s one outrageous thing you’d do for $100.
- If you could be any fictional character, who would you be?
- What song is stuck in your head at the moment?
- Where do you want to be in 5 years (or 10 years)?
- If you could choose my outfit for a day, what would you choose?
- If your life had a theme song, what would it be?
- What’s the best advice you’ve ever been given?
- What do you consider to be your biggest achievement in life?
- What’s your favourite thing to do with me?
- What’s your favourite thing to do alone?
- What is causing you stress right now?
- What’s one thing you do when you’re feeling stressed?
- What do you think is my best personality trait?
- What do you think is your best personality trait?
- If we had one day left on Earth together, what would you want to do?
- Do you have any regrets in life?
- What would you tell your teenage self?
- If you were arrested, what would it be for?
- If you had to live within a TV series, which one would you choose?
- What’s your favourite movie of all time?
- Would you rather watch a new TV series, or rewatch an old one?
- If someone made a TV show about our life, what would it be called?
Conversation Starters About Your Marriage:
- What is your favourite thing about being married?
- When you were younger, what did you think marriage would look like?
- What was your favourite part of our wedding day?
- What is your favourite thing I do for you?
- How do you show me that you love me?
- How do I show you that I love you?
- If we had a week alone together, what would we do?
- List 5 things you love about me and why?
- What is my most annoying trait?
- Where do you see our marriage in 5, 10, 20 years?
- If we could do anything together, what would it be?
- What do you value most in our marriage?
- What do you feel your needs are in our marriage?
- What was your parents marriage like?
- What excites you the most about our future?
This post relating to the questions to ask your husband about marriage has some great details about each of these questions and how you can get the most out of your conversations.
Conversation Starters About Money:
- How does money make you feel?
- Do you believe money can be good/bad?
- What are your thoughts on our current financial situation and how does it make you feel?
- What does ‘enough money’ look like to you?
- What is your financial dream for us?
- Do you feel like you have to be the breadwinner?
- How do you feel about debt?
- If you could change one thing about our current financial position, what would it be?
- When do you want to retire?
- If you had a ‘spare’ $10,000 right now, what would you do with it?
- Where do you see us financially in 5, 10, 20 years?
- Do you believe you are paid fairly at your job?
- What do you think we could change/modify in our budget?
- How did you parents manage their money?
- Who taught you about managing money?
- What did you learn about managing money?
- What’s the biggest money lesson you’ve ever learnt?
- What’s the biggest financial mistake you’ve ever made?
- What do you wish you knew about money when you were younger?
Conversations about money can get quite heated in relationships. Remember, you’re here to open up lines of communication, not to argue about money. Try talking about these things first before talking about money if you do tend to argue a little more about it.
You can also read more about how to approach these questions about money and have effective conversations around the topic of money.
Conversation Starters About Romance:
- What does romance look like to you?
- What do I do that makes you feel loved?
- If we could spend a whole day doing everything you wanted to do, what would that look like?
- If you were to plan a romantic trip for us, what would that look like?
- How do you think we can include romance in our daily lives?
- What is your favourite thing about our relationship?
- How do you feel ‘romance’ has changed in our relationship since we’ve been married?
- What do you feel hinders the romance in our relationship?
- Where do your ideas of romance come from?
- What is the most grand romantic gesture I’ve ever done for you?
- What do you feel is the most grand romantic gesture you’ve ever done for me?
- What is a simple daily task that you feel is a little ‘romantic’?
- Do you prefer random grand gestures of romance, or frequent smaller romantic gestures?
- Do you consider yourself a romantic person?
- Do you consider me a romantic person?
- Do you feel our ideas of romance are aligned?
For more insight into these questions (and a few extra romantic questions to talk about), head to this post all about the romantic questions you can ask your spouse.
Conversation Starters About Your Future Together:
- What does our future look like to you?
- What do you want to be part of our future?
- What do you not want to be part of our future?
- What do you see our lives looking like when we are retired?
- Is there something in the future that you think I want, but you’re not sure about?
- What do you feel I need in our future?
- What do you feel you need in our future?
- What can we do now to move towards our future goals?
- What is one of your biggest dreams you want to achieve in our future?
- What are your biggest fears when it comes to our future?
- If you were to write a letter, or record a video to your future self, what would you say?
- Is there something we are moving towards that makes you uncomfortable or worried?
- What specifically do you want to achieve in the next 1 year, 5 years, and 10 years?
To find our more about why you should be talking to your spouse about the future and planning your relationship goals together, head to this post about the questions you can ask your spouse about the future, which will give you more insight into these questions and more.
So, for all the married couples, whether you’ve been married for a day or a decade, take a few moments to have a conversation, put your phone down, hold hands, drink coffee together, laugh with each other, and remember how nice it is to enjoy each other’s company. You’re in this together.