One of the beautiful things about relationships is that they aren’t all the same, which means the relationship goals you have as a couple aren’t the same either. Couples don’t all look the same, and the two people in the relationship aren’t the same either. They’re independent individuals that come together to create a beautiful relationship, together.
Whether you’ve been in a relationship for a few months, few years or a few decades, one of the ways to make sure your relationship is a priority and stays ‘fresh’ is to set goals together. While you may have your own idea of what you want your relationship goals to be, setting your goals together as a couple can be incredibly powerful, and can help make sure you’re both on the same page.
Relationship goals aren’t just a trending hashtag, they are what you should include in your relationship to make it stronger and to deepen your connections.
So here are some examples of relationship goals all couples should have to inspire you to create your own relationship goals:
1 – Put Each Other First
Putting each other first in your relationship means that you’re paying attention to each other’s needs and making sure they are being met.
You love seeing each other happy and would do anything to see them smile. You protect each other, love each other and support each other.
By putting each other’s needs first, you remove the selfish aspect of a relationship, knowing that your needs are being cared for and met by each other. This only works if you both put each other first.
2 – Treat ‘Together’ Time With As Much Importance As ‘Alone’ Time
When you’re in the early stages of your relationship it’s easy to spend all of your time together. Everything is fresh and exciting and new and you just want to get to know each other in every way.
After a while, it becomes clear that spending all of your time together isn’t sustainable and that you both need time alone to recharge and refill your cup.
Alone time is incredibly important. It doesn’t mean you don’t want to spend time together.
It just means that you know that spending time alone helps recharge your batteries, helps you maintain your individuality (what made you fall in love with each other in the first place), allows breathing space and encourages a closer relationship with each other when you do spend time together.
3 – Know And Understand Each Other’s Love Language
If you haven’t heard of the 5 Love Languages yet, consider this your introduction. You’re welcome. The general idea is that we each have a love language that we speak and like to be spoken to in, that fosters how we show and receive love.
The reason why this is so paramount in a relationship is because your partner could be showing you love in their love language, but if you don’t understand that, you could be feeling ignored because they aren’t speaking your love language.
For example, if your partner always refuels your car for you and checks your tyres, but all you want is for him to hurry up and get home so you can talk to them, then you’re speaking two different love languages.
This is huge for relationships. Make it your goal to understand each others love language and do things for each other that speaks to your individual styles.
4 – Always Do New Things Together
Sure, alone time is great but together time is where magic happens too! After a while, things can become quite mundane as you move through the day to day tasks of life and before you know it, you could end up in a bit of a relationship rut.
Instead, try to do new things together, exciting adventures or even take turns in choosing what you want to do and then do it together.
From pottery classes to dancing lessons, travelling to massages, anything is possible!
Make a list of all the things you want to do and add to it whenever you think of something new. Then tick things off as you go and you’ll never be bored or stuck for things to do together.
5 – Be Each Other’s Biggest Supporters
One of the best things about being in a relationship is that you always have someone in your corner. Regardless of how extreme or crazy your dreams are, your partner should be your biggest supporter.
Knowing that the person you love believes in you is a massive motivation to achieve your goals, no matter how big they are.
Both men and women need to feel emotionally supported, and while we can generalise about what women want versus what men want when it comes to emotional support, the best thing you can do is literally ask each other. Take some time to talk about what emotional support looks like to you, what you need, when you need it, and devise ways you can provide this support for each other.
6 – Keep The Physical Connection Going
As you move through different phases of your relationship, sex isn’t always an option. There are going to be times when it’s not physically or mentally possible, but that doesn’t mean that all physical connections need to stop.
Physically touching the person you love triggers oxytocin, the feel good love hormone that reduces stress and does a myriad of wonderful things for us.
Stay physically connected by holding hands, cuddling, or literally leaning on one another.
7 – Speak Positively About Each Other
A surefire way to cause damage to your relationship is to speak ill of the person you love to others. Not only is it disrespectful to them, but it’s also disrespectful to your relationship.
This doesn’t mean you can’t vent in tough times, but be sure to talk about behaviours and actions that irritate you or that caused upset, not personality traits.
If you don’t like the personality of the one you are in love with, then you need to reevaluate your relationship or seek further help from someone who specializes in this field.
Always speak kindly and positively of each other, and if there are behaviours that irritate you, remind yourself of what it is you love about them and know that behaviours pass.
8 – Talk About Your Relationship Often
Your relationship won’t stay the same, and that’s one of the amazing things about it. As you grow and your life changes, so too does your relationship. Which is why it is so important for you to talk to each other about your relationship often.
Use these as check ins, or ask if there’s anything you want to change or do better? Ask what it is you love about your relationship, spend time reminiscing about the past and what you’ve achieved together and always look to the future and to goals you have created together.
Plus, it’s fun to hear what each other thinks and feels about your relationship!
9 – Create A Partnership, Not A Competition
Regardless of how competitive you may be, your relationship is a partnership, not a competition. This doesn’t mean you can’t compete to see who wins the most rounds of Scrabble, it means that you shouldn’t keep score in a ‘tit for tat’ type of way.
Arguing about who does more for the relationship or who contributes more creates a competitive environment.
There will always be times where someone does more in a relationship than the other, because that’s how life works. But the thing with a relationship is that you always have someone to help you through, that’s why it’s a partnership, you don’t have to do it alone.
As long as you’re always giving everything you can, that should be enough. Don’t compete over petty things, create a partnership so you can tackle it all together.
Relationships are complicated, and as simple as it sounds to do these things, actually implementing them into your relationship can be hard work. But when you’re doing this with the person you love the most in the world, then it’s worth it.