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When you see a confident woman, you can be forgiven for thinking they have everything in their life together, sorted, colour coded and filed neatly, because how else would a confident person have it? We look at them and think that it must be so nice to feel so confident in who we are and never question themselves or worry what others think. But regardless of how they come across, there are some things confident women still do.
Let me explain.
I consider myself to be quite confident. Most days. I’m not perfect, far from it. But I strive to be confident in who I am, in the actions I take and in the way I present myself. And while most of the time I can rock a confident pose, there are times when it just doesn’t happen.
And that’s my point.
We might think these confident women have all their ducks in a row, but I assure you there are some days when they are still chasing their ducks around.
Being a confident woman doesn’t mean you are perfect or that you don’t question yourself. It means that most of the time you are confident in how you fit into this world and confident in the person you are.
But regardless of how confident you are, or how much you feel like you’ve got it together, there are a few things that confident women still do, myself included.
1 – They Still Question Themselves
A lot of people have this idea that questioning yourself is a bad thing, that it means you lack confidence or lack ability to make a decision. But that is so far from the truth.
Questioning yourself sets you up for personal growth. It allows you to evaluate what you’re doing, ask yourself if it really is the best way or the best option or if it serves you in the best way it can, and then weigh up your other choices.
Imagine if we never second-guessed ourselves? We would miss so many opportunities if we didn’t at least look around at our options.
Confident women still question themselves and are better because of it.
2 – They Still Strive To Be Better
Just because you’re a confident woman doesn’t mean you’re perfect. And that’s a good thing! Because we always want to keep pushing ourselves to be better. That’s not to say that who we are now isn’t good enough, but confident women strive to push their boundaries.
Whether it’s something we want to be better at for ourselves like better self-care, or better at healthy eating, or if it’s something we want to be better at for others, like volunteering or helping others, a confident woman will always push herself that little more.
3 – They Still Make Mistakes
Mistakes? I’ve made a few. And will keep making them. Because that’s how we learn.
A confident woman doesn’t’ fear mistakes. She doesn’t avoid something in case it doesn’t work or in case it isn’t right. She takes the leap, dives in and gives it a shot. And if it turns out to be not quite what she had in mind, then she learns from it and applies that knowledge to her next attempt.
Again, being confident doesn’t mean you’re perfect, it means that you have the confidence to know that making mistakes isn’t the end of the world and that they actually move us forward.
4 – They Still Have Down Days
Just because you’re confident, doesn’t mean that you have to be happy and bright and bubbly 100% of the time.
Confident women still have down days. They have days when they feel like nothing is going right, where all they want to do is hide from the world and just binge Netflix and eat Ben & Jerry’s.
It’s okay to have down days every now and then. But a confident woman also knows that these are reserved for every now and then. And she isn’t afraid to ask for help if she finds that those down days are becoming a bit too frequent.
5 – They Still Fail
You think just because she has all her ducks in a row (most of the time) that a confident woman doesn’t fail? Uh, no. She does. And she isn’t afraid to fail either.
Did you know that most businesses fail? It’s true. And often those who have successful businesses have a string of failed ones that came before it.
What about career women? Do you think they got every single job they applied for along the way? I doubt it.
For every yes, there’s a whole bunch of no’s that happened first. But a confident woman doesn’t let a ‘no’ stop her from going after what she wants. She doesn’t let one little fail dictate the way she runs her life.
A ‘fail’ is only truly a fail if you let it railroad you and stop you from achieving you dreams.
6 – They Still Celebrate Their Wins
Every win is deserving of a celebration, whether it’s your first win or your 100th. Celebrating our wins is what helps keep us on track and help keep us motivated to reach for that next goal.
A confident woman has had wins along the way, and she continues to celebrate the wins she has because she knows she’s worked hard to get them.
She also knows celebrating a win can be as simple as stopping to tell herself ‘you did great on that’ through to going on a holiday or buying herself something she’s always wanted.
A confident woman celebrates her wins big and small because she knows that all those small wins add up and all the big wins are a reflection of how hard she has worked.
7 – They Still Set Goals
A confident woman has kicked some big goals in her time. And you bet she’s proud of that. But she won’t stop there, because even though she’s already achieved some pretty amazing things, there’s more to come.
She sets herself goals and creates action plans to make them happen. She doesn’t just say ‘one day I’d like to…’ she takes the steps needed to make those goals a reality.
Whether it’s big audacious goals that part of her still questions whether or not it’s possible (that’s okay) or life goals like buying a house or going on a trip to Italy, a confident woman is always moving towards her goals.
She also doesn’t underestimate the power of small daily goals to make her feel like she is smashing it. Change your to do list to your ‘daily goals’ list and cross things off as they happen. This means each and every day you’re kicking goals and boosting your confidence at the same time. Winner.
8 – They Still Need Alone Time
A confident woman might look like the life of the party or like she can command any room she walks into, but she still values and needs alone time.
Whether you’re an introvert or not, time alone gives us the space we need to reflect on things, to breathe deeply without others around and the ability to just be, as we are, comfortable in our own skin.
Alone time is essential for filling our cup, one we seem to keep emptying for others but need to keep refilling for ourselves. Use it for self care, use it to do something just for you, or just use it to nap. Whatever you want, but make sure you get it.
9 – They Still Work On Their Confidence
Confidence isn’t something you just ‘have’. It takes work. A lot of work. And it requires regular ‘maintenance’. You don’t just get to be confident and that’s it, you’re confident for the rest of your life.
There are many challenges in life when your confidence might take a big dive, for a lot of women these can include when they have children, when they change jobs or if they go through a breakdown in a relationship. All of these things can give our confidence a massive hit.
But it’s not only these times when we need to refocus on our confidence. It’s something we need to pay attention to each and every day.
A confident woman knows that she needs to do something each day to bring her focus back to boosting her confidence. Some days it’s as simple as looking in the mirror and saying out loud 3 things she loves about herself. Other days it requires a lot deeper work. And sometimes it can be as passive as doing something for self-care like exercising or eating healthy.
Whatever it is for you, a confident woman still works on her self confidence every single day.
Despite it looking like confident women have it all together and are perfect all the time, they still work on these things and need these things just like they did when they were building up their confidence. Being a confident woman isn’t a destination, it’s not something you get to and you’re done, it’s something you are and you keep working on all the time.