Confidence is something many women long for, but in a lot of ways can be somewhat illusive as well. We see women exuding what we think is confidence, especially on the surface, but true confidence isn’t just about what you show outwardly to others.
A truly and genuinely confident woman has far more going on in her mind than how she appears to others. In fact, her confidence can often come from the fact that she really doesn’t give two hoots what others thing of her and would rather be dancing to the beat of her own drums (and slaying her goals in the meantime).
So what does it mean to be truly confident? How can you recognise a confident woman? And how can you be more confident on the inside rather than illusively confident?
These are 9 signs of a confident woman that you can adopt yourself, work on, and add to you own life to be more confident in yourself and less giving of hoots about what others think of you.
1 – She Knows What She Wants
You would be amazed at how many women don’t actually know what they want out of life. Or perhaps you wouldn’t be amazed because you too fall into this category.
I’m not just talking about what she wants for dinner, or where she wants to go on her next holiday… I’m talking about her dreams, her goals, and her aspirations in life.
What does she want her life to look like? And most importantly, what steps is she going to take to get there.
You’re not going to find a confident woman waiting around to marry a millionaire or win the lotto in order to live the life she wants. She knows what she wants in life and she makes it happen for herself.
2 – She Has A Plan To Achieve Her Goals
Goals. We all have them – albeit some people have more loose versions of a ‘wish’ rather than goals. But for the majority of people, we have some idea of the goals we want to achieve.
However, a confident woman? She doesn’t just have goals – she has a dedicated plan on how she is going to achieve her goals and includes working towards them in her every day tasks.
In fact, setting goals is one of the habits she forms that makes her even more confident. None of this living life in a reactive way.
We believe goal setting is so important we dedicated a whole month to creating workshops and masterclasses about goal setting (and habits around it too) in the Project Hot Mess Membership.
3 – She Works Hard
We all have our own definitions of hard, and this isn’t about someone working ‘harder’ than others. But a confident woman is, by her own measure, someone who works hard.
She knows that getting what she wants in life means she has to sacrifice some things along the way, and that she has to work hard to make the things she wants happen, but she is all too willing to do it if it means she gets to live the life she loves.
This doesn’t mean she works herself into the ground though. Yes, she is hard working, but she also understands the value of rest and the need to include that in her time too. She knows that without rest, hard work is just work and doesn’t actually move her closer to her goals.
Working hard allows her confidence to shine because she learns new things, achieves smaller goals along the way, and is even more confident in her abilities, which shine through into various aspects of her life.
4 – She Doesn’t Rely On Anyone Else To Make Her Happy
A confident woman knows that there is only one person responsible for her happiness, and that is herself. While other people can make her happy, it’s not their responsibility to do so (nor is it her responsibility to make anyone else happy).
She learns to focus on herself first, in all things, which allows her to be the best version of herself.
Even as a parent, a confident woman (who, let’s face it, at times feels less confident with motherhood), knows that in order to be a good mother she needs to make sure she is happy.
She knows that the idea of a self sacrificing woman, someone who gives herself up in order to meet someone else’s expectations, doesn’t fit her narrative and instead breaks free of social constrains to put her own happiness first.
5 – She Knows What Makes Her Happy
In addition to knowing that her happiness is her own responsibility, a confident woman knows that it is that makes her happy. She knows what truly sets her heart on fire and lights up her life and she makes sure she includes it in her day.
She also is aware of the little sparks of joy, the little things that tug at her curiosity and allow her creativity to expand.
In addition to knowing what makes her happy, she also knows what does not serve her, what does not make her happy, and is sure to exclude that from her life when possible, and protect herself when needed.
6 – She Isn’t Afraid To Speak Her Mind
Be sure you don’t get this confused with someone who is loud for the sake of being loud, or loud to simply gain attention. A confident woman speaks her mind but she does so on topics she is educated on, is passionate about and she does so in a respectful and considerate manner.
She knows that people have different opinions, and that’s totally okay.
A confident woman knows that by sharing what she knows and what she is educated on, she can help others to learn and be aware of new topics too.
Keep in mind she does this in a respectful way, she doesn’t push her opinions onto others, but offers and educated and informed differing point of view.
7 – She Listens More Than She Speaks
A confident woman understands that she is forever learning, that everyone she meets knows something she doesn’t know, and that she may be educated but she will always have more to learn.
She shows this by always listening more than she speaks – not because what she has to say doesn’t offer value, but because she is always in the pursuit to learn more.
A confident woman genuinely finds people fascinating and loves hearing people stories, their backgrounds, their experiences, their challenges and their triumphs. She is not threatened by others, but celebrates with them and for them.
8 – She Can Admit When She Is Wrong
A confident woman admits her shortcomings with ease, she has no hang ups about admitting when she is wrong, and see’s situations like this as an opportunity to learn and to better herself.
And she invites constructive criticism too. A confident woman knows that she isn’t always right, and she is okay with this. She doesn’t have to be right all the time, and it is in the mistakes she makes that she learns and grows.
In fact, she welcomes mistakes with open arms, she tries new things and pushes herself understanding that mistakes are a critical part of growth and she never lets this stop her from doing what she wants to do in life.
9 – She Steps Outside Of Her Comfort Zone
A confident woman knows that comfort zones are the home of mediocrity and knows that nothing great ever came from staying within them.
She pushes boundaries, challenges herself, learns how to be comfortable with being uncomfortable.
Often this is where we ‘see’ the confidence in other women, when she is pushing out of her comfort zone, but it is just one of the small pieces of a confidence puzzle. It’s the polished part we see, but we don’t see the discomfort she feels but pushes through anyway.
Even if this doesn’t make her feel confident, she knows that stepping outside of her comfort zone is vital for her growth, and will reap the benefits to her confidence later.
Remember, confidence isn’t just something we ‘have’ – it’s something that we work on every day, like a muscle we need to exercise. There are certain things here that will speak to you more than others, and some thing that won’t resonate at all, and that’s okay.
There’s no one ‘right’ way to be confident, only you will know if you truly feel confident and are happy in all that you do and all that you are.
And if you’re not quite sure who you are anymore, or how to even figure it out, come and join the Project Hot Mess Membership – where we help women reconnect with themselves, achieve their goals, and live their happiest and best life.