When you think of a strong independent woman do you picture someone standing there in the Wonder Woman pose (or the Captain Marvel pose for those of us who prefer Marvel over DC)? Do you picture someone you know? Perhaps someone you work with or someone who has been a big influence on your life.
When you think of a strong independent woman, do you think of yourself?
Sometimes we don’t even realise how strong we are, or give value to our independence and what we can do for ourselves. Maybe you don’t even notice the habits of a confident woman you already have.
There’s far too much focus on things like ‘I don’t want to adult today’ or ‘I’m too broke’ and don’t even get me started on the whole ‘waiting to marry a rich man’!! Instead, we should be sharing more about what we can do, what we know how to do and celebrating our independence.
Here are some signs you’re already an independent woman, and if these don’t relate to you, or if you want to be more independent and don’t know how, then this list is a great place to start.
1 – You Don’t Rely On Anyone Else To Make You Happy
Your happiness is 100% your responsibility. As soon as I realised this, I stopped looking to external factors to guide my happiness, whether it was people or events or a status I thought I needed to have, and I focused on making myself happy.
If you have people in your life that you feel are making you unhappy, then remove them from your life (if you can) or reduce the impact they have on your life. If you have a job that makes you unhappy, or you don’t like your boss, then get a new job. If you live in a house you don’t like, then find a new house.
Sometimes it’s not that simple, and we don’t have the ability to just change things we don’t like, but we do have the choice of how we react to them. Instead of saying how much you hate your job, you could change it to say that you are grateful you have a job, and you’re working towards getting an even better one. This puts the gratitude in focus for what you have, and the intention and action in place to get a job you like more.
2 – You Don’t Fear Spending Time Alone
There’s a difference between not liking time on your own, and fearing time on your own. Many extroverts aren’t particularly fond of time on their own and they draw their energy and recharge their batteries when they are in a crowd. There is nothing wrong with this and this does not mean you aren’t a strong independent woman.
There is a concern, however, if you fear spending time alone.
Being able to confidently spend time alone means you are comfortable with yourself, you like yourself and you can enjoy your own company. These are all signs of a strong independent woman who doesn’t need others to make her feel good, instead simply enjoys having others around.
And if you’re a mother who has tiny people clawing off you all the time or feels the demands of others, all the time, then this time alone is like bliss!
3 – You Are In Complete Control Of Your Finances
If you don’t know the total amount of money you have owing in debt, or the amount of money you have in your accounts, or when your bills are due to be paid, then you need to get that sorted quick smart!
As a strong, independent woman you are in control of your money! You’re not waiting on some ‘rich guy’ to ride in on his convertible and save the day. Oh, no. You don’t need that. Save yourself and get in control of your money.
Finances are one of the biggest aspects of life that women feel the least control in. It’s the ‘traditional’ model that women stay at home and raise the babies while the men go out and are the breadwinners. But it’s modern times and women are smashing glass ceilings and creating careers for themselves that they love. They are taking control of their lives and their money and you need to do so too.
In the words of our girl Beyonce – “The shoes on my feet, I’ve bought it, the clothes I’m wearing, I’ve bought it, the rock I’m rockin’, I’ve bought it, ’cause I depend on me if I want it.”
If you want to achieve your financial goals, if you want to buy a house or go on a holiday or have a ton of savings in the bank, it all starts with being in control of your finances. Right now.
If you’re in a relationship, this doesn’t mean that you hand the financial controls over to someone else. Even if you are the stay at home mom or if you aren’t responsible for the paycheck (because really, no one could afford to pay women as stay at home moms anyway, our wage would be HUGE for what we do), you still have a say in the financial matters that happen in your home and in your life and you need to understand what financial situation you are in.
4 – You Know What Makes You Happy
Remember how we said that you don’t need to rely on anyone else to make you happy? Well, you also need to know what it is that makes you happy (and what doesn’t).
When was the last time you actually asked yourself ‘is this making me happy?’ Or if I was to ask you right now, what makes you so happy you feel like you have butterflies in your stomach and you want to jump up and down, could you answer me?
Knowing what makes you happy is a level of self reflection that so many people miss. Sure, as mothers we love our kids and our families make us happy, or our husbands make us happy, but you are a person outside of your role as a mother, as a wife, as a career woman, as a whatever… you are YOU. What makes YOU happy?
5 – You Have Goals And Plans To Achieve Them
We all have goals in life. Whether we verbalise them as goals or if we just say ‘one day I’d love to…’ and add our deepest desires into the sentence, we all have them. But, the difference between women who are strong and independent and those that aren’t, is that the strong, independent women have plans to achieve their goals.
Their ‘one day’ is no longer ‘one day’ but has an actual date to it. If they are working towards buying a house, they have a timeframe they want to buy one by. Or even better, a specific date.
These are just some of the signs of a strong independent woman that I see over and over again. Everyone has a different idea of what strong and independent looks like to them, but the most important thing is that you feel strong, confident, and you identify yourself as an independent woman. Strong, independent and confident women aren’t perfect, they just know they are amazing, despite their imperfections.