Feeling a little stuck in a boring marriage? You’re not alone. So often we hear of couples who feel like they are in a rut, or that the spark of their marriage is gone. It’s no wonder it happens too.
When you first start dating and in the early days of marriage, everything is new and exciting. We don’t bring the day to day stress of our lives into our relationships because we a) don’t want to scare the beejeebus out of our new lovers and b) because we want to keep things uplifting and bright.
But that can only last for so long.
The reality is, life needs a little tending to. We have the ol’ life admin, bills to pay, money to earn and that’s before we even throw kids into the mix. Things can get a little mundane and boring really quick.
But that doesn’t mean it has to stay like that, and it certainly doesn’t mean you can’t still have fun and excitement in your relationship. So if you’re feeling stuck and not sure what to do, here are 7 ways to liven up a boring marriage and get that spark of excitement back!
1 – Talk To Each Other
Before you roll your eyes thinking this is so obvious, sometimes we need to be reminded. I’m sure you talk to each other often throughout the day, but how much of that conversation is about work, or kids, or the boring things you’re trying to escape (not trying to say kids are boring… but they are a bit of a buzzkill sometimes).
Talk to each other about anything that’s not day to day life-related.
Remember when you were first dating and you wanted to get to know everything about each other. Anything the other person said was fascinating and you’d hang off every word. Spark up your conversations again and get to know even more about each other.
If you need some inspiration or ideas, check out our conversation starters list with over 100 questions to ask each other!
2 – Break Your Routine
Sick of doing the same old thing day in and day out? Feel like you’re in a rut. It used to be exciting, but now it’s just groundhog day…
Break your routine and change things up to reignite some spark in your marriage.
Instead of getting up at the same time and heading off to work, wake a little earlier and go out for a breakfast date before heading off for the day. Rather than the same dinner and a movie date, pick something off a list of dream date ideas and do that instead.
Routine is great for predictability, but it’s boring. Shake that routine up a little and get excited!
3 – Stay In Bed All Day
I know, I know… work. And kids. And life. But this can be so much fun and can really help you reconnect with your hubby.
Organise a day off work (or call in sick if you have to), send the kids off to school, or daycare, or to their grandparents, and get back into bed!
Watch Netflix, eat pizza, talk, laugh… reconnect.
Not only is it great to spend that much time together alone, connecting with each other, but the level of ‘naughtiness’ by going against the grain will add to the excitement and will certainly break the boring routine.
4 – Spend Some Time Away From Each Other
Sounds counterproductive I know, but this is so good for both of you (and your marriage).
Before you were married you were both two unique individuals with your own needs, wants and desires. When you get married it’s easy to lose yourself in looking after others, being part of a couple and giving everything to everyone else.
Time away from each other allows you to focus on yourself, recharge your batteries, and have a break from general life stress. You’ll come back rejuvenated, energised and eager to see each other again.
5 – Learn Something New Together
Sharing an experience together can be fun, exciting and allow you to bond over something you’ve done together. And doing something that you never thought you would do can be exciting and adventurous too.
There’s likely a class you’ve wanted to take or a skill you’ve wanted to learn so why not do it together?
You could take turns in choosing what to do and take a new class or learn a new skill each date night. Having fun, laughing together and spending time together can help turn your boring marriage into an exciting one again.
When it comes to learning new skills, taking a class, or just wanting to expand your knowledge – Udemy has what you’re looking for. Be warned, you’ll start scrolling the classes available and reailze all of a sudden you HAVE to learn how to crochet, or cook traditional Indian food, or how to code websites… It’s super addictive and so fun! PLUS you can get cash back with your Rakuten app too!
6 – See A Therapist
Woah, woah, woah. Before you go running for the hills, hear me out.
If things in your marriage have gone a little ‘meh’ and you’re feeling bored, then there might be something more going on under the surface, a therapist can help you figure this out and work through it.
I firmly believe all couples should go to counselling, not just those who are trying to ‘save’ their marriage. Regular counselling can help you learn skills to communicate more effectively, work through difficult times together and keep the spark alive in your marriage.
7 – Plan For Your Future, Together
When you get into the rut of each day, it can be difficult to see beyond that. Each day feels like the same boring repeat and it just keeps going and going.
Push through your rut by planning your future together! Working towards a common goal and having a plan for where you want your life together to go can be exciting and motivating! It might just be what you need to get through this ‘stuck’ phase.
Plan your future together in a fun way with our Couples Planner! A printable planner that has been created with FUN in mind, because relationships are meant to be fun! It will help you create goals for your future and my personal favorite pages are the 100 things we want to do together list, you’ll never be stuck for something to do again!