The thing about marriage advice is that everyone has an opinion and usually people are quite happy to dish it out in spades. And to be honest, I love it.
I love hearing what makes people’s marriages work, what makes them happy and what they do to keep making their marriage a priority.
I was once told that every single person you meet knows something you don’t, and it’s your job to find out what that something is.
So, I asked the amazing team of contributors here at Project Hot Mess what the best marriage advice they have even been given or had to give was and this is what they said. So you too can learn something from these amazing women:
“Put your husband first. Before your kids and before yourself. Because when your kids all grow up and leave home, you need to still have an amazing marriage, not a housemate. And because if you always put your husband first, you won’t need to put yourself first because he will do that for you.” – Krystal Kleidon
“Never go to bed mad. Marriage is lots of work and not for the faint of heart! Work things out, marriage is a wonderful partnering of two souls.” – Ranae Aspen
“If I had to say one thing though, it would be to respect your husband – let him know by telling him when you’re proud of him. Women love to hear the L word, but with men, it’s mostly about having respect. Obviously, this only works when you really are proud of him. Don’t say it if you don’t mean it. Haha.” – Connie Hester Wyatt
Want to have more fun in your relationship? Grab a copy of our free Mini Relationship Planner, including the 55 questions to ask as conversation starters.
“Give him plenty of affection. This doesn’t have to just mean sex (though that’s good too). Just a kiss or hug here or there, it’s good for us both! I rub my hubby’s forearm when we’re sitting down to eat or he’ll kiss the back of my hand from time to time, most couples have their little ways of showing affection….do it more often!” – Britt LeBoeuf
“In difficult situations, keep your mouth shut (for a little while). Our initial reactions are rarely loving and thoughtful and are often worthy of regret. Give yourself time to process and pray (or ponder, if you prefer) before responding.” – Brandice Lardner
“If you’re even 1% wrong or 1% of the problem, acknowledge it and apologize. Humbling yourself and making amends will make it easier for your spouse to do likewise.” – Alethea Jo Mshar
“The best marriage advice I ever got was when I was seething mad at my husband for something that was out of his control. A coworker said instead of sitting there mad I should go get my husband a coffee. . . in other words, choose to love on him. It worked.” – Magi Nelson Clark
“My husband is my best friend and takes really good care of me so I try to reciprocate. Support each other, be each other’s number one advocate. And yes, touch and affection are huge.
Also, try to be a team. I know this sounds obvious, but my husband always has my back.” – Sara Ohlin
“Prioritize your relationship. I’m using this in my maid of honor speech for 2 weeks from now, a quote from Iian Thomas “Every day, the world will drag you by the hand, yelling, “This is important! And this is important! And this is important! You need to worry about this! And this! And this!”
And each day, it’s up to you to yank your hand back, put it on your heart and say, “No. This is what’s important.” – Meghan Sheehan
“Always assume the best of intentions.” Let’s face it men and women are different and we all have different love languages. When we are hurt by our spouse it’s rarely because they were trying to be hurtful..if you can assume they had good intentions, your whole mindset can shift!!!” – Shannon Mika
“This is one of the best lessons I learnt from Matthew Hussey: in a relationship, there are two levers, attraction and investment. We have control over the investment lever, however much we love the person. We need to balance it and invest as much (or as little) as the other person invests in you.
That way you avoid trying too hard and coming off as needy. And you don’t play mind games either. You create balance in a relationship and it stays healthy.” – Dany Szelsky
“Ignore traditions and just do what you both feel is right. Sleep is more important than so many things, if you’re well rested you fight less. Tired people are jerks. So get your rest.
Everybody changes, couples don’t grow apart, they just fail to realise that they and the person beside them are constantly evolving and forget to choose to continue to love them.” – Tilly Mykat
“I’d say for us, a big thing has been to always have something exciting to look forward to as a couple. It could be a vacation you’re planning together, a home improvement project you’re working on as a team, or even just a movie night next Saturday.
I think it helps you feel like you’re “in this together” in a positive way, because you know there’s always something fun ahead, even when life gets heavy or hectic.
It’s important to make time to actually enjoy your partner, and having something to look forward to together helps you get through the busy times and maintain perspective.” – Erin Zak
What’s the best marriage advice you’ve ever been given or have to give?