We’ve all seen a happy couple before, or at least what we think is a happy couple. Because the thing is, being happy isn’t about what you convey to they world – you know, the smiling, lovely, holding hands public displays of affection kind of ‘happy’. What does make a happy couple is more about the things you do each day, even when times are tough.
A happy couple isn’t just happy when they’re in public, or taking photos for Instagram, or happy when things are going well. A happy couple takes the time to put each other first each and every day. These are just some of the things happy couples do every day, do you do them?
Be sure to grab your copy of the Mini Couples Planner for free, with pages designed to help you have more fun and communicate better in your relationship:
1 – They Talk To Each Other
We all know that communication is key to a happy relationship, but communication doesn’t always mean deep and meaningful conversations with each other.
Somedays your chats with each other will be through text messages, or over the phone, because you’re not near each other, or because you’re just so busy. But, the point is, you take the time to actually speak with each other each day.
When you do get to chat and talk with each other, you give your attention, you actively listen and are genuinely interested in what each other has to say.
In a survey of over 1000 women, one of the biggest trends was that they just didn’t know how to talk to each other anymore. Make it a habit and keep the communication going.
Not sure what to talk about? Grab our Conversation Starters pack, with over 100 questions to ask each other!
2 – They Do Small Things To Help Each Other
It’s not the big, grand gestures that make a happy couple, it’s the little things you do each day that make the biggest difference. Making a pot of coffee before the other gets up, taking care of dinner for the other when you’re busy, doing what you can to help each other each day and make things a little easier for each other.
This isn’t about doing everything for the other person, and it is a two-way street. It’s more about showing that you love and care for the other person and that you are thinking of them.
3 – They Make Time For Physical Contact
Let’s be clear here, physical contact doesn’t always mean sex. You can have a happy, physical relationship without sex because there are just some times when sex isn’t possible. But, physical contact is important.
Whether that’s by holding hands, cuddling, putting your arms around each others waist as you walk, whatever it is for you. Physical contact is important because it releases the hormone oxytocin which does all kinds of amazing things, but is known as the ‘love’ hormone because it induces that feeling of love and connection with another person.
4 – They Listen To Each Other
You know that feeling when you’re talking to someone and they’re agreeing with what you’re saying but you know for sure they aren’t listening to you. One of the most important things in a relationship is validation, and to do that, you need to actually listen to each other.
Listening is active, not passive. That means asking questions about what the other has said, continuing the conversation, being involved in the conversation instead of just being talked at, and giving your attention to each other.
When you first start dating you hang on each other’s every word, you want to know more about what they have to say. A happy couple continues this throughout their relationship. It might not look the same, but the attention, care and desire to listen to each other is still there.
5 – They Speak Kindly To Each Other
We all have our moments when we are tired, hungry, and snappy. And sometimes we might be short with each other because we are most relaxed around each other and we don’t feel the need to filter ourselves so we let our guard down. If we are in a bad mood, that can come across.
BUT, this doesn’t mean it’s okay and it doesn’t mean you can use it as an excuse to be mean to each other.
Happy couples speak kindly to and of each other. They don’t put each other down and they don’t say horrible things about each other behind their backs. You might have the ‘my husband annoyed me this morning’ conversation with your friends, but you can still do so in a respectful and kind way.
You can’t take back the words you say, and while what you said might not be remembered, you will always remember how you were made to feel. Be sure the words you speak to each other are kind and reflect how you want each other to feel.
6 – They Act Out Of Love And Put Each Other First
Think about your actions, are they out of love? Are you putting your loved one first? You see, when you put them first and ensure their needs are met, and they put you first and ensure your needs are met, you don’t have to ever worry about needing to be selfish or that your relationship isn’t equal, because you both put each other first and both ensure your needs are being met.
This can look different for each relationship. Maybe you notice your love is stressed lately and just needs time out, perhaps they’re more of an introvert and need time to recharge? By recognising this and ensuring they get that time, you’re acting out of love and putting their needs first, knowing that in doing so, they’re going to get the chance to recharge, they’re not going to burn out and your relationship is going to be better for it.
A happy couple isn’t all about doing everything together all the time or working together as a perfect unit. It is about acknowledging you are two individual people, with individual needs that must be met, and ensuring you are both the best version of you that you can be.
7 – They Express Gratitude
Thank you. Seriously, do you know how powerful these words are? They’re even more powerful when they are said directly to someone, with eye contact and no other distractions.
Thank you for being you. Thank you for all that you do. Thank you for cooking dinner tonight after seeing how tired I was. Thank you for that hug when you realised I needed it. Thank you for listening to me, I feel so much better now.
Being grateful for each other and expressing that gratitude is a form of acknowledging each other, and we all need to be acknowledged and validated. When we feel like we aren’t appreciated, aren’t seen, aren’t heard, that is when we start to feel unhappy.
A happy couple acknowledges, validates and shows gratitude for each other each and every day. Some days it might be obvious, other days it can be just a simple thank you and a hug.
As you can see, there’s no big secret trick to being a happy couple. It comes down to the little things you do every single day that make the biggest differences. And often they become so much a part of your routine that they aren’t even a conscious effort – they aren’t just something you do, they become part of who you are, part of your happy couple.