Disclosure: Some articles on this site may contain affiliate links, meaning, at no additional cost to you, Project Hot Mess may earn a commission if you click through and make a purchase.
Your friends can be an amazing asset to your life. They’re there when things get rough, they’re there to celebrate the awesome occasions and usually, they’re there to have your back and encourage you no matter what you do (even if it is slightly embarrassing). These are the amazing friends. However, there are also some friends you don’t need in your life.
These are the friends that make you feel like crap. You know the ones – I’d bet you’ve had one or two at least over the years. I even bet that as you read through this a few names pop into your mind.
These are the toxic friends. The ones you need to let go and move away from.
Have you heard that you’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with? Make sure these ‘friends’ aren’t those people.
1 – The Friend Who Only Calls When They Want Something
You haven’t heard from her in over two months and then out of the blue she starts liking and commenting on your Facebook posts, sending text messages and she even calls you. It seems innocent at first, like the standard catch up (hey, how have you been? What’s been happening? The usual…) but then she does it. She asks for something.
Which wouldn’t be an issue… except the ONLY time you EVER hear from her is when she wants something.
It’s a predictable cycle and one that is so easy to get caught up in. There’s no issue with helping your friends out when they need it, but a friendship is a two way street. Just like any relationship. You can’t have a healthy friendship if you’re always the one giving (and she’s always the one taking).
2 – The Friend That Makes You Feel Worse After You See Them
He may have been your best friend since you started school together but you find yourself avoiding him because he is just so darn draining. Whenever you catch up it’s always a big story about the latest drama, then he questions everything you do in your life (including your choice in partners and even your holiday destination). He makes you second guess everything you do and you even start holding back in what you tell him.
These ‘friends’ take up so much of your time and leave you feeling worse after you see them. Your friends are supposed to build you up and support you, not tear you down.
3 – The Friend Who Never Has Anything Positive To Say
We’ve all been friends with a Negative Nancy before and it sucks. Especially for those of us who absorb the emotions around us. After a catch up with a Negative Nancy you find yourself feeling negative about everything in your day, without even meaning to! Because you’ve just had a massive dose of negativity from her!
These ‘friends’ don’t even realise they are doing it most of the time, they just like to whinge and complain. Perhaps you’re the one they’ve always vented to and they’ve just fallen into a rut of only venting to you.
If you have difficulties steering the conversation into a more positive direction you may find this is one friend you’ll want to spend less time with.
4 – The Friend That Is So Much Better Than You
You know the one… anything you can do she can do better. Or even worse, has already done better. And how do you know this? Because she will tell you over and over again. Maybe she won’t even wait for you to finish your story before jumping in over the top with her story – which is so much better (or so she thinks).
You can’t have anything special or unique with these friends because they have seen/heard/done everything and they’ve been everywhere. They are natural competitors, which on occasion would be fine, but come on! A friendship can’t survive if one person is always trying to ‘win’.
5 – The Friend Who Gives ‘Advice’ About Everything
We go to our friends for advice, it’s what we do. But that one friend that always gives advice, especially when it’s unsolicited is just so exhausting. She tells you what clothes you should be wearing, what makeup you should be using, what you should be doing in your job, how you should be parenting your children… She may even be a combo of the unsolicited advice + better than you friend which is just a catastrophe waiting to happen.
There’s a big difference between discussing different opinions and points of view about topics between friends and outright telling you what you need to be doing. You’ll know the ‘friend’ because she will start her sentences with ‘What you should be doing is… ‘ or ‘What you need to do is…’
Stand your ground or start to walk away.
What kind of ‘friends’ have you let go from your life?