Have you ever given much thought to, who you really are? I mean, outside of being a mom, or daughter, friend, employee/employer?
When that person at the party says, “So tell me about yourself.” What do you say?
“Oh, I’ve been married for twenty years, and have two kids. My youngest is starting high school this fall. I work at “insert place of employment here.”
Is THAT who you are?
That answer describes your relationship to your family, and where you spend most of your time to bring in income. And while this does tell something about you, It does NOT tell very much about who YOU are!
I was presented with this years ago, and it had me bumfuzzled. (Is bumfuzzled a word?)
But really, outside of my relationships and job, I couldn’t answer the question. It was frustrating to come up with a real answer, so I knew I had to explore it.
People can walk about for years lost to who they truly are.
Some of us can’t even say what makes us really happy. “Well, I uh, I guess I like to go to the movies.”
“What kind of movies?”
“Uh, I don’t know, just whatever is playing. Chick flicks – I like chick flicks I guess.”
If this sounds a lot or even a little like you, I want to invite you to get to know yourself.
TO BEGIN THE PROCESS OF DISCOVERING WHO YOU REALLY ARE, START WITH THESE 7 POWERFUL STEPS.
1 – Dedicate Time To Getting To Know Yourself
Discovering who you really are takes time.
You are going to have to go on a search. A search for YOU! What you like, what you don’t.
Why you believe the things you do, and if they are really YOUR thoughts, or the thoughts culture has handed you.
It can be a lengthy process, so plan to set aside some real time to ask some really important questions. Which brings us to the next step.
2 – Ask Some Really Hard Questions
Discovering who you really are takes lots and lots of really tough questions.
These aren’t your typical yes or no questions, but real, meaty, thought provoking questions.
Questions like, Why don’t I do more of the things I love? Or, If I could do anything, and time or money wasn’t an issue, what would it be? Or I’ve always said I was a klutz. Where did that come from? And a hundred other ones just like those.
This will get your mind working and thinking about what makes you tick. The more questions you ask, the more you will learn about yourself.
3 – Get a Journal
I strongly encourage you to buy a journal to record all of these really hard questions.
They are important and need an actual place to land. You don’t even have to have an answer YET, but just write the questions.
Our thoughts are often a jumbled up mess. We are all over the place with life’s little issues, like what’s for dinner, or what time is this appointment and how am I going to take care of that problem.
It is when we slow down and actually write our thoughts down, that we will have clarity.
Clarity, or getting really clear with an issue is the beginning of problem solving.
You can’t solve a problem without being aware of what you’re trying to solve.
Journaling helps to bring clarity to our thoughts. So get that journal and start writing! To read more about journaling, see my post on it HERE.
4 – Reflect
Once you’ve spent some time writing your thoughts and coming up with those really tough questions, reflect on them.
Don’t just write something to move to the next question, really think about it and reflect on it.
The answers may not come at once, but keep digging and
The answers may not come at once, but keep digging and ploughing through them.
If you get stuck, try asking the question in a different way. Example – instead of, “What brought me to this point in my life?” ask, “When did I first get off track?”
The answer to one question will likely lead to more questions, but the more you answer, the better off you’ll be.
5 – Be Patient And Forgiving With Yourself
Discovering who you really are is not for the timid, nor is it for the impatient.
It takes time.
There may even be, actually almost certainly will be, some areas where you aren’t very proud of yourself.
Good! It means you see it now.
That indicates growth, and growth is good.
You can’t fix something broken unless you realize it’s broken.
But forgive yourself when you discover a shadow aspect of your personality. We all have lots of junk that gets entangled in the deepest parts of us.
When we unearth it, it can be a little painful, but that’s when we’re ready for the next step.
6 – Move On
Whether it’s something really cool about yourself, or really bad, move on.
Do the work to fix what’s broken and set out to take what’s working and make it even better.
In other words – go forward – grow – transform into that beautiful creation that you know is within.
Bring her out and dust her off. Let her fly!
7 – Starting Over
Yes, you heard me. Once you make some awesome discoveries as to who you really are, start the process all over again.
You will be surprised just how much of you is there to find. Like digging for gold, you’ll find a nugget here and a nugget there.
Just keep on digging. You’ll be glad you did.
And the next time someone asks you who you are, tell them – really.