Confessions of a Lazy Parent

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I have a confession to make. I’m a little bit of a lazy parent. Okay, maybe a little bit more than a little bit… but still. You get my point. I see all of these Pinterest Perfect Parenting articles and they make me laugh so hard. Which is a little sad, but true.

Now let me just say, I love being a mum. My whole world has changed since my little man made his way into my life. When he smiles at me I forget everything, when he wraps his little arms around my neck my heart feels like it is about to burst out of my chest and when he says “Love you Mummy” I honestly tear up sometimes.

But just because my little man melts my heart it doesn’t mean I’m the perfect parent. And I know I’m not the only one out there that does some of these ‘lazy parent’ things so I thought I’d share them with you and see what you think.

Confession #1 – I’m Too Lazy To Cook

I sometimes let my son eat sausages for breakfast, lunch and dinner, for a few days in a row, because I couldn’t be bothered cooking anything else. This usually happens when the hubby is working evenings or working away and I really don’t want to cook an entire meal for just my son and I. He loves it – he is four and thinks ‘sausassess’ are the greatest food on earth.

Confession #2 – Frozen Veggies Help The Guilt Situation

When I’m really feeling guilty for the abovementioned meal, I’ll add some peas to his plate so I don’t feel so bad for the lack of vegetables. Let me be clear – these are frozen peas that require a minute in the microwave to defrost. Again, he loves them so that always helps. If we are feeling really fancy we will go for the steamed veggies in the individual pouches. They include corn, which my son gets even more excited about.

Confession #3 – Toilet Training Was Not A Priority

I had no interest in toilet training my son until he was at least 3 years old. I’m in mother’s groups where kids are toilet trained as early as 12 months of age and you know what? That’s awesome for those families. But I didn’t want to deal with all that goes with toilet training – we used modern cloth nappies most of the time so the cost isn’t too high and he just wasn’t ready. Even if there are ‘suggested’ pins on Pinterest for toilet training (ignore..). And you know what? We waited until he was just over 3 years old and it only took him a few days because he was ready. So there. (Insert pokey tongue emoji here).

Confession #4 – If I Pretend I Didn’t See It, It Didn’t Happen

Sometimes I pretend I didn’t see my son drop his food on the floor, then pick it up and keep eating it. 10 second rule applies, doesn’t it? I’m not one of those parents that fuss after my kids, if he drops his food he can pick it up and eat it. I would be concerned if the dog had licked it first…

Confession #5 – I Hate Arts and Craft

It’s messy. There’s paint and glue everywhere and no matter how hard you try to clean it all up, glitter is still floating around a month later. Daycare is great for arts and crafts. I don’t mind colouring in at home. I even tried to do the adult colouring in – you know, the one that’s supposed to calm you but actually makes you really angry that it takes 10 hours to finish one page and you end up with a kink in your neck from looking down and colouring? You know – those ones. This rule also applies to Play-Doh. Not allowed in our house!

 

Confession #6 – There’s No College Fund

My son doesn’t have a huge savings account. Again with Pinterest. I saw about 5 articles the other day about setting up savings accounts for your kids as soon as they are born and a ‘budgeting plan’ for how much to save each year. He has a piggy bank and when it gets full (or too heavy) we deposit the money into his savings account. Does that count? It’s not going to pay for an education but he thinks it’s cool.

Confession #7 – I Make Up Stories

I sometimes pretend I’m reading books to my son when all I’m really doing is making up stories. I love Dr. Seuss as much as the next person but after reading the same story 10 times over I’m a little sick of it. So I make the stories up… and really, if you’ve read enough Dr. Seuss you pretty much get the gist of how the stories go.

Confession #8 – I Don’t Jump Into ‘Rescue’ Mode

If my son is ‘stuck’ somewhere I talk him through how to get out and call it ‘personal development’. Really it just means I don’t have to get up get him out of his jam. He also falls over… a lot… and I don’t rush to pick him up. The fussiness makes him more upset. He gets up, dusts himself off and keeps going. Little champion.

Confession # 9 – Netflix Saves My Sanity

I may have, on occasion, let The Wiggles play all day on Netflix so I could get some work done. And then felt a little guilty when my son started reciting all the songs from The Wiggles at just two years old… and I started signing them at work… I did, however, have a little chuckle the other day when I noticed he had picked out a stand up comedy piece by Jim Jeffries to watch. We decided that wasn’t appropriate. Parenting win!

Confession #10 – I Don’t Care What Food/Stain/Bodily Fluid Is On My Shirt

I have, on many occasions, gone out in public with the full knowledge that my shirt was covered in boogers/food/vomit/milk and when it was pointed out by someone else, I would act all surprised. Like it had just happened. Really I just didn’t want to change my shirt again, to have it boogered on again, and to add to my already huge washing pile.

Maybe I’m a lazy parent, maybe I’m efficient or maybe I’m just like everyone else and we all hold ourselves to these ridiculously high Pinterest Perfect standards. Who knows. All I know is my son is happy, healthy and I love him more than anything in the world.

From,

A Possibly Lazy Mama.

A version of this post originally appeared on Her View From Home.